How To: Love Yourself Like You Love Your Children.
How To: love yourself like you love your children is a concept I thought about a while ago. I am not quite sure how or when my brain conceptualized motherhood. I can only assume that it was from some moments of mother-child interaction and what was present all around me on commercials, billboards, advertisements and magazines. You see, just 10 years ago, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram just weren’t what they are today.
Social media is just another aspect of life. The thing about “aspects” is that it depends on the position in which they are being used. Social media is a wonderful tool for connecting with people, reading up on topics of interest (like this one here), promoting your business and spreading awareness on various topics. I mean, who really wants to go back to the days of telegrams and notes being delivered by horseback? Well ok, some of that sounds picturesque…I digress.
Recognizing Where We Are and Where We Want to be…
With all of the good that comes out of having social media, we must learn how to identify and recognize the bad parts as well. The one I am discussing today just may be the most damaging of all. Comparison.
Comparison is a sneaky little bugger. It’s sneaky because it can disguise itself in many different forms. It may be presented in the form of a suggestion. For example, healthy eating habits, night time face mask routine, the new “gray hair coverage” formula or the “getting our bodies back” routine.
Before we even realize it, these mere suggestions that were shared and intended to be helpful, are downloaded into our brains and begin to make us think we are doing every thing wrong, or everyone else is doing it better.
But How and Why?…
Why is this? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why can we not allow ourselves as mothers to step into that next season of our lives without feeling as though we are failing in some way?
It is because we have lost sight of what is important. When something is important to you, it takes priority. But what happens when you have far too many “priority” marked items on your list?
How do we begin to rewrite our “priority list”? This begins by redefining what the word priority means to us. We need to undo the years of what we perceived as a priority but is actually stopping us from truly loving ourselves as we love our children.
- Humble yourself. Know that you are only human. We are incapable of doing and being everything. Take solace in this notion.
- Give yourself grace. Do not put yourself down especially over things you cannot change. You are so much more than an image staring back in the mirror.
- Have patience. Are you depleting your bank account and maxing out credit cards because you feel an impulse to have it all? No one has it all. Have patience with yourself and really look at all that you have. The place you are today may very well be what you aspired for some time ago.
- Admire, don’t envy. Have admiration for others and be happy for them. Don’t allow the admiration to turn to into envy. This is a very dangerous cycle that will always leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled.
- Love yourself like you love your children. I say this to myself a lot. I feel the importance of this last step is so crucial and here’s why…
Love Yourself Like You Love Your Children…
The depth of love mothers have for their children is embedded. It is a code that has been written since conception. If your child spills juice on the rug, you would have the patience to clean it up and teach them mistakes happen, and show them how to be more careful.
When your child is learning how to hold a pencil for the first time, recite the alphabet or attempt riding a bike, you would be there to tell them that everyone has a beginning and they must humble their heart.
If one sibling displays a talent that another does not have, we teach admiration. We were all created equal but with different gifts. This is a part of God’s beautiful design. If we all displayed the same talents, the world would lose some of its beauty.
We cannot all come in first place. So we teach our children to lead with grace when things don’t go our way. This teaches them to accept the things they cannot change.
Feeling the Love…
When you hear your child speak ill of themselves, you feel the pain so deep that it may be hard to not shed a tear in front of our little one. We must feel this level of love so deep for ourselves, just as you feel for your children.
So mothers, stop the comparison cycle. Love yourself as you love your children. That unconditional, always giving, warm hearted love. When you are feeling overwhelmed and worked up over the to-do list of life, make sure that it is your list and not a lengthy curated list created out of comparison. Give yourself the grace to accept the things you cannot change. The patience to grow. To admire the progress of others and not turn it into envy. And to humble your heart when beginning a new endeavor, recognize that everyone starts somewhere. This is how we love ourselves like we love our children.
What are some of the ways you can love yourself like you love your children? Let us know in the comments below!